Sabtu, 20 Ogos 2011

From Zero to Zippo

It's been a long time since I posted something funny in KENCINGKUCING, as I tend to write in English nowadays. Not that I'm going to apologize for that, it's my page anyway. But I do feel it's my obligatory to make my readers giggling when reading KENCINGKUCING. So, sorry.

I received, what I can say here, as one of the most practical present I ever received for years. My good friend just came back from UK completing\ his degree there, and he bought me this tiny little thing that completely change my life.

Before:

"Weh bak mai lighter tu jap".

Kcak! Kcak! Kcak!

"Ape jadah api besar sangat ni terbakar bulu hidung aku!!"

After:

"Lighter ko mane mok?"

keleting!

"Apasal aa nyalekan rokok pakai zippo rase cam hisap curut sebatang 60 ringgit? Padahal hisap surya je?"

....

Yup. I am now a zippo user, fellas! A proud zippo user, to be exact. On top of that, a proud free-zippo user. Adding to that, a proud free-zippo user which the zippo was bought from UK! The best part is, I am a proud free-zippo user, which is the zippo was bought from UK and was made in U.S.A. LOL!

OK enough of that.

Being a zippo user, inevitably raised your level of smoking experience to as nearly as Karma. Each and every time you light the not-so-healthy stick of tobacco on your mouth, the sensational feeling it brings is just out of this world. The mix of zippo fluid (which is minyak tanah, I guess?) burning the tip of the cigarette, the first huff and puff that enters trough your lungs, all the way back to your mouth is just awesome.

No more boring, dull, tiny little fire for your smoking session with your friends. With zippo lighter, it brings out the wonderful side of smoking to the people around you.

Before:

*stranger chick* Abang. Sorry eh kitorang tak boleh makan ade asap rokok.

*abang* Oh OK OK sorriiieeeyyy..

Now

*zippo* Keleting!

*the same stranger* Abang. sebelah orang ni ade orang tak? nak duduk boleh?

*abang* heh heh heh!

.....

I, being a proud free zippo user, which the zippo was bought from UK and was made in U.S.A now, need to be extra careful. This is the downside of it. I can no longer stay calm when somebody borrow my lighter, be it to light his Surya, Dunhill or anything, or just to light a birthday cake. No more Mr nice guy here, sorry no more.

I need to be more vigilant, always keeping my sight through out the table. Need to locate each and every single moment, the exact location of my precious zippo. Every hand, every keleting!, any slightest movement of this metal thing needs to be recorded with extra precautions. Any notorious moves detected, sorry no zippo for you brah! Go light your rokok with mancis cap lada please!

Sorry for being an asshole over my zippo, but you all know how much important the existence of lighter to me. I can't imagine, whipping my sorry ass later when I found out that I have to ignite my rokok with an Alladin lighter. Ya Allah! Alladin? What is that? Stupid piece of plastic with the dimmest spark on earth. Errgghhh!! No that's not a lighter. I'm not going to light my rokok with that, not in the million years! (joking LOL)

And that's it. This is some sort of a pre-reminder to all of you my readers out there. I can be the best guy to hang out with at Sayed, or the beast, if that's the correct word, when it comes to my zippo. Better buy yourselves a Cricket, or you might spending the whole night without rokok. That is, if my lighter is run out of fuel lah.

-Nak hisap rokok tak boleh pulak puase zzz-


3 ulasan:

nur ikmal berkata...

say for frequent usage of zippo...how long does it takes to run out of fuel? did u research on dat too? haha soklan pon nk dlm english bajet. (sile bace ngn slang uk)

woody berkata...

abang.. lempang mau?

Tanpa Nama berkata...

siyes la sket..kite baya kot..bush bush bush (bunyi swimming laju2)